From the Q Files, a subsidiary of Evil Mad Scientist Laboratories
This is the collection of First-Hand quotations. Other quotation pages: Silly, Profound, Context-Free.

Quotations from a single 24-hour period at Lake Forest College:

        "Did you break your thingy?"
                - Andy (Not to Erin)

        "Just because I have a penis doesn't mean I'm not a woman."
                - Erin (Not to Andy)

        "What? You didn't get me a Lion King cake?"
                - Katrina (at her surprise party)
 



        "I would like to own all of the major cities in Europe."
                - Linda



        "I have 'Linda' written across my ass."
                - Adam



        "Wouldn't it be cool if you were really a transformer inside but
didn't know it and then one day you're stretching and you kindof turn into
a car?"
        - Erin Gibson, quoted plus or minus a couple of words.



"I have no sexual preference"
                - Someone (who will remain nameless) on campus who
                had no idea what he was saying.

                [not to imply that not having a sexual preference is bad,
                i'm only putting this in to embarass matt.]



   "I'm not being lazy, I'm helping to delay the heat death of the universe."

        - Erin, as quoted grapevine style by Luiz, Adam, and I.



        "I just came to tell one and all that the earth is really flat, and
that we should all learn to live with this and stop denying it... and
further more the sun is not the center of the universe, I am. "
                                - Abby Sookraj  (Honest!)



        " So here we were in this cave, and she starts sniffing the air,
and she says, 'Gee, this smells really nice, I wonder what it is?'. So I
take a breath, smile and tell her. Next second, I'm alone in the cave. It
did smell nice, though."
                                                - J ( of her tent partner )



        "Questions?   Are there any Questions?   Please ask me questions...
I'll be your best friend!"

                - Prof. Packel, in DiffEQ



"Quotes? You want bleedin' quotes? I'll quote you upside
the head so hard you won't know what quote ya! I'll quote you til' yer
bones grind to dust and yer neighbors call the police 'cuz the screamin's
so loud they can't hear ya over Melrose! And when they come half a day
later with their bleedin' donuts to see what's going on, they'll hear the
quotin' goin' on in there and run for the hills themselves! You'll never
get a quotin' like the one I'm about ta give ya! Ha hah hah hah hah hah!
Quote THIS! "
                                        - Dave



        " Why are the two of you ganging up on me? What did I do? "
        " We're just jealous because you're getting laid. "
                                -- Friends of mine at lunch, Lake Forest College




        "I'd rather solve a math problem than pick up a woman."
                - Hiro Asari

        "I'd like to pick up a woman, and it wouldn't even have anything to
do with a math problem."
                - Emily Berkeley



"He smells like the 70's"

        Anon., in reference to Ed Packel, our lovely math/cs chair.



"Nitro really sucks! ... my brother listens to Nitro."

        - Sue


        "We are using Happy Fun Ball for generations and I am proud to say
that we are satisfied customers!!"

                - Froggy the Frog


                        "I'm theoretical."
                                - Mandy


        " It's in there somewhere. "
                -- spoken of a dime used in activating a Thermite reaction,
                   as a pool of molten iron cools beneath the slagged crucible



        "October thirty-sixth."
                -- Colin, when asked when his sociology paper was due.



"What about having chocolate while having sex?"

                -- The Godforsaken Magic Frog, In response to the
                        QQQ mailing of the
                   "TOP TEN REASONS: WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX"



                "Yeah, they suck!"
                        - Erin, speaking of NIN.



        "It gets this cold in Wisconsin sometimes."

                - Linda, holding a cup full of liquid nitrogen.