The QQQ-Files

From the Q Files, a subsidiary of Evil Mad Scientist Laboratories

They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.

I'll procrastinate...tomorrow.

I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house. Zsa Zsa Gabor

What if there were no hypothetical situations?
        -- Andrew Kohlsmith

I would like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong.

I'm in shape. Round is a shape, isn't it?

I will meet you at the corner of Walk and Don't Walk.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
        -- Groucho Marx

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.

I distinctly remember forgetting that.

God is REAL, unless explicitly declared INTEGER.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
        -- Marx

It is not an optical illusion, it just looks like one.
        -- Phil White

I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.

Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!

Volvo, Video, Velcro (I came, I saw, I stuck around)

NO! NO! Nurse! I said "Prick his boil!"

Due to a mixup in Urology, orange juice will not be served this morning.

"Beam me aboard, Scotty!" "Will a 2X4 do, Captain?"

Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.

A mistress lies between a mister and a mattress.

Cats took many thousands of years to domesticate humans.

Eleven tons of hair stolen. Police combing area.

Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.

If I hated my house and fell in love with my office building, would that be an edifice complex?

"Time's fun when you're having flies."
        -- Kermit the Frog

You are not paranoid if they're really after you...

People usually get what's coming to them... unless it was mailed.

There is no excuse for laziness, but I'm working on it.

A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

When is summer in Canada? Last year it was a Tuesday in July.

Hard work has a future payoff, but laziness pays off now.

Question Authority... and the Authorities will question you!

Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.

When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws.

You are kind and giving towards others... What are you after?

He who lives in a glass house shouldn't invite he who is without sin over for dinner.

Backups? We doan *NEED* no steenking baX%^~,VbKx~pNO CARRIER

Earth is interesting, and well worth the money I paid for it.

"How can you waste beer like that!?! Don't you realize there are sober children in Africa!?!"

If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?

How many weeks are there in a light year?

Cloning is the sincerest form of flattery.

If flattery gets you nowhere, try bribery.

If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.

Down with categorical imperatives!!!

People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw parties.

One good turn usually gets most of the blanket.

Bull behind a tapestry: You can't see the taurus for the frieze.

Blessed are the censors; they shall inhibit the earth.

Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant!

"We Americans, we're a simple people... but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities."
        -- Robin Williams

After all is said and done, usually more is said.

Gather round like cattle and ye shall be herd.

California raisins murdered! Cereal killer suspected.

Parallel lines DO meet, but only incognito.

How do they get deer to cross at those yellow road signs?

Organized crime is alive and well: It's called auto insurance.

The meek shall inherit the Earth when we're done with it.

When it's you against the world, bet on the world.

Any student who changes the course of history is probably writing an exam.

How did a fool and his money GET together?

We will cross that bridge when we come back to it later.

"If I'm not back in five minutes....just wait longer."
        -- jim carrey from "Ace Venturea, Pet Detective"

"The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open."
        -- Groucho Marx

All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.

A bug in the code is worth two in the documentation.

"Happiness is a warm puppy," said the anaconda.

Love thy neighbor: Tune thy piano.

All I ask is to prove that money can't make me happy.

Marriages are made in heaven... but then again, so are thunder and lightning.

A self-adressed envelope would be addressed "Envelope".

Electricity comes from electrons; therefore, it is reasonable to conclude that morality comes from morons.

Under-Achievers Anonymous has an 11-step program.

"Packwood for president... How does that grab you?"
        -- Anon.

Marriage is grand. Divorce is twenty grand.

Money can't buy happiness, but it can certainly rent it for a couple of hours.

Frog Parking. All others will be toad.

Question authority and the authorities will question you.

The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.

There ain't no reason to use no double negatives, not never.

You simply *must* stop taking other people's advice.

Quidquidne latine dictum sit, altum viditur.
(Whatever is said in Latin sounds profound.)

Love means nothing to a tennis player.

Red meat is bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is even worse.

T.B. or not T.B? That is the congestion.

"Dole IS 96"
        -- Seen on a bumper sticker.

Man I come from a small town
        -- we closed the zoo when the chicken died....

When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.

Anyone who makes an absolute statement is a fool.

...then there was the overweight ballerina who had to wear a three-three...

"I used to be Snow White, but I drifted."
        -- Mae West (1892-1980)

Are dog biscuits made from collie flour?

Mermaid mathematicians wear algaebras.

"I don't think that there was this much excitement when the ORIGINAL Madonna found out she was pregnant."
        -- Letterman

Jesus Saves, but Moses Invests!

It's not the minutes spent at the table that makes one fat... it's the seconds.

If you're one in a million, there are more than 7,000 of you.

Today's greatest labour-saving device is... tomorrow!

There is nothing wrong with sex on TV, as long as you don't fall off.

Do unto your data that which you can undo.

To err is human, to undo divine.

Don't anthropomorphize computers. They don't like it.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

As the great Jedi English teacher was quoted in saying, "metaphors be with you."

Today is the last day of your life so far.

"One day the Alaskans got so tired of hearing Texas brag about how big Texas is that they threatened to split Alaska in half and make Texas the third largest state."

Of the choice of two evils, I pick the one I've never tried before.

Vampire Secretaries make type-O's.

Show me a famous composer's liquor cabinet, and I'll show you Beethoven's Fifth.

Hey- Yo momma's SO POOR, She Goes to KFC and licks other peoples fingers!

Show me where Stalin's buried, and I'll show you a communist plot.

Punsters deserve to be drawn and quoted.

Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.

When in doubt, do as doubters do.

Cloning is the sincerest form of flattery.

Familiarity breeds children.

If you can't say anything nice, you probably don't have many friends.

To attract a vegetarian, make a noise like a wounded vegetable.

You can fool some of the people some of the time, and that is sufficient.

If you took a dalmation and washed it until it was really really clean, wouldn't it be spotless?

He who dies with the most toys, is nonetheless dead.

I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats.
        -- Woody Allen, on the KKK march planned for Skokie Ill.

I dreamed I was a muffler. I woke up exhausted.

People who deal with bits should expect to get bitten.
        -- Jon Bentley

"I sometimes like to look up at the sky and smile for a satelite picture."
        -- Steven Wright

...and always remember the last words of my grandfather, who said "A truck!"
        -- Emo Phillips

I ran three miles today, finally I said "lady take your purse."
        -- Emo Phillips

"The Detroit Quartet played Brahms last night. Brahms lost."
        -- Unnamed critic

My school colors were clear. We used to say, "I'm not naked, I'm in the band."
        -- Steven Wright

... and then there was the opera singer impersonator who bolled himself as Placebo Domingo.

"Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined."
        -- Samuel Goldwyn

Talk is cheap, using a modem gets expensive.

"I feel like a 20-year old! Unfortunately, there aren't any here."
        -- Milton Berle, at his 80th birthday party.

"Snort if you voted for Marion Barry."

Capt'n! The spellchecker kinna take this abuse!

97.3% of all statistics are made up.

If Satan ever loses his hair, there'll be hell toupee.

"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house."
        -- George Carlin

Computer and car salesmen differ in that the latter know when they are lying.

"You know what I hate? Indian, I take that back."
        -- Emo Phillips

"I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers."
        -- "A Bit of Fry and Laurie"

My father was stupid. He worked in a bank and they caught him stealing pens.
        -- Rodney Dangerfield

"I got tired of calling the movies to listen to what is playing so I bought the album."
        -- Steven Wright

"I was once arrested for walking in someone else's sleep."
        -- Steven Wright

"I met the surgeon general. He offered me a cigarette!"
        -- Rodney Dangerfield

"This morning when I put on my underwear, I could hear the Fruit of the Loom guys laughing at me."
        -- Rodney Dangerfield

"Another travel agent told me I could spend 7 nights in Hawaii. No days, just nights."
        -- Rodney Dangerfield

"The price of nearly everything goes continually up and down, but letter-paper remains stationery."
        -- Eleanor Roosevelt

"Ladies and gentlemen, I stand before you because if I stood behind you, you wouldn't be able to see me."
        -- Groucho Marx

"It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it."
        -- Steven Wright

I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically.
        -- Steven Wright

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.
        -- Steven Wright

"I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky... but there wasn't any gum under any of them."
        -- Emo Phillips

" I took a physics course that was so hard I couldn't find the classroom."
        -- Steven Wright

...And you know you've really overdosed on the World Wide Web when you read a magazine and you have this irresistible urge to click on all the underlined passages.

"I doubt, therefore I might be."

People come up to me and they're worried...that I'll reproduce.
        -- Emo Phillips

People come up to me and say, "Emo, do people really come up to you?"
        -- Emo Phillips

"Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?"
        -- Woody Allen

Always try to do things in chronological order; it's less confusing that way.

Drink wet cement: Get Stoned.

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out of it alive.

A day without fusion is like a day without sunshine.

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made.

"I swear to God I'm an athiest!"

Bombs don't kill people, explosions kill people.

f u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgrmmng.

Computer possessed? Try DEVICE=C:\EXOR.SYS

"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants."
        -- A. Whitney Brown

"Free the bound periodicals!"

God is REAL, unless explicitly declared INTEGER.

Finish your mail packet! Children are offline in India.

The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.

Printed on 100% recyclable phosphor.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Don't hate yourself in the morning. Sleep 'till noon.

I still miss my ex, but my aim is getting better.

The Universe is a big place... perhaps the biggest.

A stitch in time would have confused Einstein.

Power corrupts, but we need electricity.

Today's subliminal thought is:

SLIP Tight! Don't let the computer bugs bite!

On average, people are mean.

:Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.

"Mr. Worf, scan that ship." "Aye, Captain. 300 DPI?"

The speed of dark is -3 X 10^8 m/s.

"Thank God I'm an Atheist"

"Anarchy may not be the best form of government, but it's better than no government at all."

"i just lost my job at sunkist, because i couldn't concentrate...."

Black holes really suck.

How hot is it? It's so hot that we had to build fires just to cool off.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

When there's a will, I want to be in it. A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose. Where there's a will, there's a dead relative.

......NEWSFLASH: Police car just crashed into a tree in Northern Ireland. The IRA said they planted it.

The atom, the hydrogen, and my physics tests can't *all* be bombs!

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!

"I can levitate birds. No one cares."
        -- Steven Wright

"I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it."

"Give a man an inch and he thinks he's a ruler. Give him 12 inches and he is a ruler."
        -- Groucho Marx

Any nitwit can understand computers. Many do.
        -- Ted Nelson

Brand-new clothing is the larval form of laundry.

"If you can't say anything good about someone, sit right here by me." Alice Roosevelt Longworth

There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire someone, or forbid your kids to do it.

I plan to live a life of complete celibacy, just like my father and his father before him.

"Husbands choosing colors must have note from wives."
        -- Sign in wallpaper and paint store:

"Eighth Floor Button Out of Order. Please Push Three and Five Instead."
        -- Sign in an elevator

My lawyer can beat up your lawyer.

"Members will refrain from picking up lost balls until they have stopped rolling."
        -- Sign on a Scottish golf course

I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.
        -- Rodney Dangerfield

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.
        -- Rodney Dangerfield

Absence makes the heart go wander

If God is perfect, why did He create discontinuous functions?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

If God had meant for us to be naked, we would have been born that way.

All that glitters has a high refractive index.

Psychiatrists say that one out of four people are mentally ill. Check three friends. If they're ok, you're it.

If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished.

It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.

Klein bottle for rent- inquire within.

Gravity: Not just a good's the LAW.

Don't be so open-minded your brains fall out.

"I'm astounded by people who want to "know" the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown."
        -- Woody Allen

Beware of tiny, swarthy, balding, one-eyed telemarketers: They're selling something.

Look out for #1. Don't step in #2.

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.

Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

If you are reading this, you have a copy in front of you.

Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

All generalizations are false, including this one.


He who laughs last thinks slowest!

To err is human, to moo bovine.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

"I once shot an elephant in my pajamas... How he got into my pajamas, I'll never know."
        -- Groucho Marx, Animal Crackers

If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.

"If you took all the students that felt asleep in class and laid them end to end, they'd be a lot more comfortable."

"Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right."
        -- Woody Allen

"I'm not afraid of Death. I just don't want to be there when it happens."
        -- Woody Allen

"If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?"
        -- Art Hoppe

"Where am I going, and why am I in this handbasket???"

"I believe the pc term for Lesbian is 'woman in comfortable shoes.'"
        -- Robin Williams Live at the Met

"Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe."
        -- Jackie Mason

"Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head."
        -- Ambrose Bierce (i think.)

non sequiturs make me eat lampshades.

Psychiatry: The care of the id by the odd.

We have engaged the Borg. The wedding will be Friday.

DOS=HIGH Hmmm, i knew it was on something....

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

"It's so cold the politicians have their hands in their OWN pockets."

"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"
        -- Steven Wright

"When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction."
        -- Steven Wright

"Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ballgame' when we're already there?"
        -- Unknown

Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.

Drugs are for people who can't handle reality.

Reality is for people who can't handle drugs.

Reality is for people who have no imagination.

Reality is an illusion caused by an alchohol defecency.

BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding.

Evidently the slaves found slavery depressing.
        -- Dave Barry

"my student smoked up with your honor student"
        -- sticker seen on a VW bus in Eugene, OR

'My son is selling marajuana to your honor student.'
        -- Bumper Sticker

'My kid beat the crap out of your honor roll student and took his lunch money.'
        -- Bumper Sticker

"I'd like to meet the man who invented sex and see what he's working on now."
        -- George Carlin

There's too much blood in my caffeine system!

Losing your drivers' license is just God's way of saying "BOOGA, BOOGA!"

"Sex is the mathematics urge sublimated."
        -- M. C. Reed.

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

Rainy days and automatic weapons always get me down.

Hard work may not kill you, but why take chances.

Work fascinates me. I could sit and watch it for hours.



Support mental health, or I'll kill you!

Save an alligator; shoot a preppi

Archaeologists will date any old thing.

DANGER! I drive like you do.



Illiterate? Write for free information.


If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

Does 'virgin wool' come from sheep the shepherd hasn't caught yet?

Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?

C:\BELFRY is where I keep my .BAT files.

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.

"If he gets any dumber, we'll have to water him twice a day."

Sex is disrobic exercise

Pity the poor egg: it only gets laid once

I'm a blogger and I'm OK. I post all night and I sleep all day.

(If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses)

"!sgub evah t'nseod CP sihT ?sgub naem ayaddahW"

Busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest!

29A, the hexadecimal of the Beast.

Backup not found! A)bort, R)etry or P)anic?

Her kisses left something to be desired -- the rest of her.

Stack Overflow: Too many pancakes...


Do files get embarrassed when they get unzipped?

Help! I'm trapped in a Chinese computer factory!

I haven't lost my mind; it's backed up on tape somewhere.

If a train station is where the train stops, what is a work station?

Modem: How a Southerner asks for seconds...

My Go this amn keyboar oesn't have any 's.

Nice computers don't go down.

This message transmitted on 100% recycled electrons.

Asking if computers can think is like asking if submarines can swim.

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count, and those who can't.

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?

A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep

A Shower is the halfway point between Bed and World.

Actual TorStar headline, 3/6/94: "Man charged with murder after death"


Actual newspaper headline, 1/17/77: "Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures"

Actual newspaper headline, 8/14/80: "Food Basic to Student Diet"

Air travel: Breakfast in London, dinner in New York, luggage in Brazil.

Animals/people: you can pet 99% of animals and still get a G rating.

Buy one, get one free...does it have to be in that order?

Apathy Error: Don't bother striking any key.

Can you think of another word for "synonym"?

Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.

Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.

Did you expect mere proof to sway my opinion?

Everything in moderation, including moderation.

Give a skeptic an inch and he'll measure it.

God gives us relatives; thank goodness we can chose our friends.

Great minds run in great circles.

Happiness can't buy you money.

Have you seen Quasimodo? I've a hunch he's back.

He who laughs last didn't get the joke.

He was so narrow-minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.

He is no lawyer who cannot take seventeen sides.

He has the heart of a little child... it's in a jar on his desk.

Hey Santa, how much is it for the list of naughty girls?

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

History does not repeat itself; historians merely repeat each other.

Hindsight is usually better...depending on the hind you've sighted.

Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Horse sense is the thing a horse has that keeps it from betting on people.

Hospitality: Making your guests feel at home, even though you wish they were.

How long is a minute depends on which side of the bathroom door you are on.

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

I married Miss Right. I didn't know her first name was Always.

I believe in free will. My religion says I have no choice.

I locked my coathanger in the car. Good thing I had a key.

I wired my dryer backwards. Now it spits out extra socks.

I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it.

I'll have: two drugged brains over easy with bacon and toast.

If today is the first day of the rest of your life, what was yesterday?

If it were truly the thought that counted, more women would be pregnant.

If you shoot a mime, do you need a silencer?

If your parents didn't have any children, neither will you.

If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people?

If you get married in TN and divorced in AL, is she still your sister?

In English, every word can be verbed.

Instant sex will never be better than the kind you have to peel and cook.

It's not whether you win or lose. It's whether *I* win or lose.

Laugh at your problems; everybody else does.

Maintain thy airspeed, lest the ground rise up and smite thee.

Mold has spores. People have pores. It is one way to tell us apart.

Never forget: 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.

Never, never, never *MOON* a werewolf.

Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.

Nobody ever goes there, it's too crowded. (I've actually HEARD this!)

Out of the mouths of babes does often come cereal.

Reality is for those too stupid to program holodecks.

Saddam Hussein is the father of the mother of all cliches.

Save the Rainforest! Eat a vegetarian!

Save the whales! Collect the whole set!

Sign on bank: We can loan you enough money to get you completely out of debt.

Some people would not recognize subtlety if it hit them on the head.

Someday you will look back on this moment and plow into a parked car.

The older a man gets, the farther he had to walk to school as a boy.

The universe is surrounded by whatever it is that surrounds universes.

The Schizophrenic: An Unauthorized Autobiography.

Nudist Camp sign: "Sorry, Clothed for Winter"

The one who says it can't be done should never interrupt the one doing it.

Bureaucracy expands to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.

"he's dead jim...pass the ketchup."
        -- Bumper Sticker

'He's dead Jim. You get his tricorder, I'll get his wallet.'
        -- Bumper Sticker

"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."

'Picard/Riker '96: "Make it so."'
        -- Bumper Sticker

If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

There were five peanuts walking down the street, and one was asaulted...peanut.

Daddy, why doen't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?

I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.

Remember: If it wasn't for C, we'd be using BASI, PASAL and OBOL!

C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

Headline: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!

Seminar on Time Travel to be held two weeks ago.

The psychic group, you know where, you know when.

Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.

If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

A bad random number generator: 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 4.33e+67, 1, 1, 1

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Why is brassiere singular and panties plural?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.

To get something done: Hire someone, or forbid your kids.

This sentence no verb.

Vote anarchist.

You have the body of a 19 year old. Please return it before it gets wrinkled.

Work is the curse of the drinking class.

"If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank."
        -- Woody Allen, "Without Feathers"

Money talks... and all mine says is 'Goodbye!'

"Do not meddle in the ways of dragons, for you are tasty and good with catsup."
        -- seen on bumper sticker at SCA event

"Death must be the best part of life, it's always saved for last."
        -- Unknown

"Death is God's way of saying 'Hey, you're not alive anymore'."
        -- Unknown


I am Pentium of Borg. Division is futile. You will be approximated.

The Borg assimilated me & all I got was this stupid T-Shirt!

Beavis n' Butthead of Borg: Uhhhhhhhhhh, hhuhhuhuh, you will, uhhhhhhhhhh, be ummmm, uhhhh huh huhuh, ass-, umm, ass-, assimilated...heheh heheh heheh, you said "ass" huhhuh, shut up fartknocker! heeheh hehe huhhuh

dave of borg. he haaaa..we're flyin'n around in a cube, hey paul! resistance is futile!

I am Sylvethter from Borg. You will be athimilated!

I am Caffeine of Borg. Sleep is irrelevant.

I am Homer of Borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is... MMM! Donunts...

I am Sajak of Borg. R__I_T_NC_ I_ FU_IL_

Borg virus detected. (A)ssimilate? (Y/y)

Borg-Cola: Not the choice of the next generation.

Borger King. Have it our way. Your way is irrelevant.

Drunk Borg: Rsilience in floor tile. Wan'be similated?

U2 will become one with the Borg. We like Bono.

The Swedish Chef has been assimilated. Borg borg borg!

I am Tweety of Borg. I _tawt_ I attimiwated a puddy tat!

I am Al of Borg. Aww, Peg, I assimilated you last year.

I am Ginsu of Borg. You will be assimilated - but WAIT! There's MORE!

Back to the QQQ-Files.

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