Scene: A court room in Oklahoma where a person is on trial for murder.
There is strong evidence indicating guilt; however, there is no corpse.
In the defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client is
guilty and that it looks like he'll probably be convicted, resorts to a clever
trick.
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," the lawyer
says as he looks at his watch. "Within 1 minute, the person presumed dead in
this case will walk into this court room," he says and he looks toward the
courtroom door. The jury, somewhat stunned, all look on eagerly. A minute
passes. Nothing happens.
Finally the lawyer says: "Actually, I made up the previous statement. But
you all looked on with anticipation. I, therefore, put it to you that there is
reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that
you return a verdict of not guilty."
The jury, clearly confused, retires to deliberate.
A few minutes later, the jury returns and a representative pronounces a
verdict of guilty.
"But how?" inquires the lawyer. "You must have had some doubt; I saw all of
you stare at the door."
Answers the representative: "Oh, we did look. But your client didn't."
The following exchanges are all taken from *real* court transcripts. Some
of them involve stupid or confused people, or outrageous lawyer babble, and
some are just funny taken out of context. "Q", of course, is the lawyer,
and "A" is the witness.
Q. Are you married?
A. No, I'm divorced.
Q. And what did your husband do before you divorced him?
A. A lot of things I didn't know about.
Q. Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
A. By death.
Q. And by whose death was it terminated?
Q. How did you happen to go to Dr. Cherney?
A. Well, a gal down the road had had several of her children by Dr.
Cherney, and said he was really good.
Q. Do you know how far pregnant you are right now?
A. I will be three months November 8th.
Q. Apparently then, the date of conception was August 8th?
A. Yes.
Q. What were you and your husband doing at that time?
Q. Mrs. Smith, do you believe that you are emotionally unstable?
A. I should be.
Q. How many times have you committed suicide?
A. Four times.
Q. Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A. All my autopsies have been performed on dead people.
Q. What happened then?
A. He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me."
Q. Did he kill you?
A. No.
Q. When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able,
for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone
also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the
station?
MR. BROOKS: Objection. That question should be taken out and shot.
Amazing but true fact:
If you were to spread out all the sand in Northern Africa,
it would cover the Sahara Desert.
"My wife received a copy of the following at her law firm. It purports to be
true. For those of you who don't know, a 'deposition' is a transcript of
pre-trial testimony. These transcripts tend to be thick documents."
To: all attorneys
Subject: Depositions and Their Use
A friend sent me the following portion of a transcript, which was confirmed
with one of the counsel involved (Ms. Olschner) and subsequently posted on
Lexis Counsel Connect. The transcript is from Birmingham, Alabama, although
the use of a deposition of a party opponent "for any purpose" is also in the
federal rules. We have no word on what had happened immediately prior to this
exchange:
The Court: Next witness.
Ms. Olschner: Your Honor, at this time I would like to swat Mr. Buck in the
head with his client's deposition.
The Court: You mean read it?
Ms. Olschner: No, sir. I mean to swat him [in] the head with it. Pursuant to
Rule 32, I may use the deposition "for any purpose" and that is the purpose
for which I want to use it.
The Court: Well, it does say that.
(Pause.)
The Court: There being no objection, you may proceed.
Ms. Olschner: Thank you, Judge Hanes.
(Whereupon Ms. Olschner swatted Mr. Buck in the head with a deposition.)
Mr. Buck: But Judge...
The Court: Next witness.
Mr. Buck: We object.
The Court: Sustained. Next witness.
End transcript.
On one occasion a student burst into his office. "Professor Stigler, I don't
believe I deserve this F you've given me." To which Stigler replied, "I
agree, but unfortunately it is the lowest grade the University will allow me
to award."
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day about the
fact that in many languages, such as English, a double negative forms
a positive, while in other languages, such as Russian, a double negative
is still a negative. "However," he pointed out, "in no language can
a double positive form a negative."
A bored voice from the back of the room responded, "Yeah, yeah...."
A nice young worker from Australia Post ( yes they do exist ), was sorting
through her regular envelopes, when she discovered a letter addressed as
follows:
GOD
c/o Heaven
Upon opening the envelope, a letter enclosed told of how a little old
lady who had never asked for anything in her life, was desperately in need of
$100 and was wondering if God could send her the money.
Well the young lady was deeply touched and made a collection from her
fellow workmates and collected $90 and sent it off to the old lady. A few
weeks later another letter arrived addressed to God, so the young lady opened
it and it read "Thank you for the money, God, I deeply appreciate it, however
I only received $90. It must have been those bastards at the Post Office."
*Variation, AKA net regurgitation of the previous story into a joke:
A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and his mother told him to pray to
God for it. He prayed and prayed for two weeks, but nothing turned up.
Then he decided perhaps he should write God a letter requesting the
$100.00.
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, they
opened it up and decided to send it to the President. The President was
so impressed, touched and amused that he instructed his secretary to send
the little boy a check for $5.00. He thought that this would appear to be
a lot
of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 and
sat down to write a thank-you letter to God, which ran as follows:
Dear God: Thank you very much for the money. I noticed
that you had to send it through Washington. As
usual, they deducted $95.00 for themselves.
Fly the Friendly Skies
An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for
being smart and funny, and making her point, when confronted with a
passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo.
During the final days at Denver's old Stapleton airport, a crowded
United flight was canceled.
A single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers.
Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his
ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and
it has to be FIRST CLASS."
The agent replied, "I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you,
but I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to
work something out."
The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers
behind him could hear, "Do you have any idea who I am?"
Without hesitating, the gate agent smiled and grabbed her public
address microphone.
"May I have your attention please?" she began, her voice bellowing
throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at the gate WHO
DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity,
please come to gate 17."
With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared
at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore "(Expletive) you."
Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll
have to stand in line for that, too."
The man retreated as the people in the terminal applauded loudly.
Although the flight was canceled and people were late, they were no
longer angry at United.
"A friend of mine was getting ready to take his big chemistry final.
In class, the professor told them they could use whatever they could fit on
one normal size piece of paper for help on the test. So my friend Jake
went in for the test with a Senior Chemistry Major, placed the piece of
paper on the floor, and the senior stood on it. The professor threw a fit,
but Jake would just ask him for help with all the problems. The professor
wanted to fail him, but the student board ruled that the prof did say
'anything,' and so he got away with it!"
The three-letter airport identifier for Sioux City, Iowa,
under attack by state officials, will be changed. The Federal
Aviation Administration has agreed that SUX is an unacceptable
abbreviation for the facility.
-- Air & Space/Smithsonian magazine
Actual advertisement:
Study Abroad with Beaver College
1.800.755.5607
"I am absolutely not making this incident up; in fact I have it all on
videotape. The tape is from a local TV news show in Oregon, which sent a
reporter out to cover the removal of a 45-foot, eight-ton dead whale that
washed up on the beach. The responsibility for getting rid of the carcass
was placed upon the Oregon State Highway Division, apparently on the theory
that highways and whales are very similar, in the sense of being large
objects.
So anyway, the highway engineers hit upon the plan (remember, I am not
making this up) of blowing up the whale with dynamite. The thinking here
was that the whale would be blown into small pieces, which would be eaten
by sea gulls, and that would be that. A textbook whale removal.
So they moved the spectators back up the beach, put a half-ton of dynamite
next to the whale and set it off. I am probably not guilty of
understatement when say that what follows, on the videotape, is the most
wonderful event in the history of the universe. First you see the whale
carcass disappear in a huge blast of smoke and flame. Then you hear the
happy spectators shouting Yayy!" and "Whee!". Then, suddenly, the crowd's
tone changes. You hear a newsound, like "splud". You hear a woman's voice
shouting "Here come pieces of... MY GOD!". Something smears the camera
lens.
Later, the reporter explains: "The humor of the entire situation suddenly
gave way to a run for survival as huge chunks of whale blubber fell
everywhere". One piece caved in the roof of a car parked more than a
quarter of a mile away. Remaining on the beach were several rotting whale
sections the size of condominium units. There was no sign of the sea gulls,
who had no doubt permanently relocated to Brazil. This is a very sobering
videotape. Here at the institute we watch it often, especially at parties.
But this is no time for gaiety. This is the time to get hold of the folks
at the Oregon State Highway division and ask them, when they get done
cleaning up the beaches, to give us an estimate on the US Capitol..."
Credit goes to Dave Barry for writing the above column describing the
incident 25 years ago. Dave has this in his book, "Dave Barry Talks Back".
The video of the whale exploding is available.
Be forewarned: The file is 12 megabytes or so and can be FTP'd from
stirling.dorm.umd.edu /pub/whale.avi
The whale.avi is also at (from lycos search):
ftp://cathouse.org/pub/cathouse/urban.legends/gif/ul/whale.avi
http://jalapeno.ucs.indiana.edu/~jkonrath/whale.avi
http://www.slate.tdtech.com/vids/whale.avi
The story can be found at:
http://www.cs.uoregon.edu/~hacks/misc/whale-carcass.html
The Lord's Prayer is 66 words, the Gettysburg Address is 286 words, there are
1,322 words in the Declaration of Independence, but government regulations on
the sale of cabbage total 26,911 words.
-- From an article on the growth of federal regulations
in the Oct. 24th issue of National Review
A math professor at the University of California, Irvine, has figured out
how to beat lotto. Mark Finkelstein's method involves waiting for the jackpot
to pass $18 million, then [in order not to share the jackpot] betting on the
least-popular numbers. He estimates his method will, over time, earn a 14%
return on the money invested. But. It takes 2.3 million years of play to
ensure the strategy is profitable. "Actually," Finkelstein said,"I guess
you'd be better off with your money in a CD." (LA Times)
"Number of calories burned in a one minute, deeply passionate kiss: 26
Number of calories in a Hershey's kiss: 25"
-- Harper's Index
Buckingham Palace confirmed reports that Queen Elizabeth was
hit by a bird. Attending a grouse shoot in Scotland last month, "a shot bird
spiraled from the sky on a misty morning and brushed off the queen's
shoulder," a Palace spokesman said. The kamikaze Celt hit her hard enough to
cause a bruise. "A famous grouse perhaps it may become, but not one that
will alter the course of history," the spokesman added. (AP)
Sep 26, 1995 12:46 from Rocket Scientist
An amazing story, which I saw on one of the real, factual 'Learning Channel' or
such TV shows:
There is a fish called the Pearl fish, I believe, which hides in the anus of
the sea cucumber. Just backs its wiggly way right on in there. The narrator
proclaimed 'It is not clear what benefit the sea cucumber receives from this.'
I guess he didn't notice the giant grin on the SC's face... Ahem. Well, then.
"Paragon Cable in New York recently began a new approach to dealing
with customers who have delinquent accounts. Instead of cutting off their
service altogether Paragon fills their entire 77-channel lineup with
C-SPAN. Paragon said the project has been successful."
- from "news of the weird"
"This is a true story that happened to one of my mom's friends:"
She got pulled over for speeding one day. The cop walks up to the car and
she says "I bet you're here to invite me to the Police ball." The cop looks at
her very sternly and says "Ma'am, the Overland Park police don't have balls."
When he realized what he said, his face got really red...then he went back to
his car and left!!!
She never did get a ticket...
"In colorado, it is unlawful to make a phone call with other
purpose than to communicate."
"The Air Force is reacting to the EPA ban on CFC's by replacing
them in the cooling systems of the intercontinental (ballistic)
missiles with 2 to 10 nuclear warheads on board. If they are ever
fired, it will be an environmentally friendly nuclear holocaust,
not threatening the Ozone layer."
- Access to Energy, July 1993
From: Jan Bultmann
(forwards truncated)
Some men will got to extraordinary lengths to prove how macho they
are. Witness Frenchman Pierre Pumpille, of Lyon, who recently shunted
a stationary car two feet by headbutting it. "Women thought I was a
god," he explained from his hospital bed. Deity or not, however,
Pumpille is a veritable girl's blouse compared to Polish farmer
Krystof Azninski, who staked a strong claim to being Europe's most
macho man by cutting off his own head. Azninski, 30, had been
drinking with friends when it was suggested they strip naked and play
some "men's games." Initially they hit each other over the head with
frozen swedes, but then one man seized a chainsaw and cut off the end
of his foot. Not to be outdone, Azninski grabbed the saw, and crying,
"Watch this then!" swung at his own head and chopped it off. "It's
funny," said one companion, "Cos when he was young he put on his
sister's underwear. But he died like a man."
"I was in lab yesterday and the guy sitting across from me decided
to squirt me in the head with water from a syringe. As he was using a
syringe with a 26 gauge needle. It was a very small, thin needle. He
pushed on the plunger with such force thatthe needle shot off of the
syringe and implanted itself in my forehead. Ouch! It didn't hurt, but
the look on the guy's face was
priceless!!! So today's safety rule is don't water fight with a syringe and
a needle, because... you could shoot someone's eye out! Mom was right!!!"
- Source unknown.
One day, a very attractive undergraduate visited the professor's office. This
undergraduate pulled the chair closer to the professor, smiled at him shyly,
bumped his knee "accidentally", etc. Finally, the undergraduate said,
"Professor, I really need to pass your course. It is extremely important to me.
It is so important that I'll do anything you suggest."
The professor, somewhat taken aback by this attention, replied, "Anything?"
To which the undergradute cooed, "Yes, anything you say."
After some brief reflection, the professor asked, "What are you doing
tomorrow afternoon at 3:30?"
The student lied, "Oh, nothing at all, sir. I can be free then."
The professor then advised, "Excellent! Professor Palmer is holding a help
session for his students. Why don't you attend that."
"Back when I was taking Chemistry 101, my instructor did a little
demonstration. He pointed to a large beaker on the table full of yellow
liquid. He said: 'The first thing a chemist must learn is not to be
disgusted by anything. This is a beaker of horse urine. The simplest way
to determine if the horse is diabetic' (dipping his finger in the beaker)
'has always been to simply taste for sugar!' (licking his finger!) 'Is
there anyone here willing to demonstrate?'
A big guy from a fraternity came up with a grin on his face to
taste the 'urine', knowing it was a gag. He dipped his finger in the
'urine' and licked it dry -- and from the expression on his face, it really
was urine!
'The second thing a chemist must learn is to be observant!'
(Holding up his hand, the professor demonstrates.) 'I dipped the _other_
finger!!!'"
- Overheard. Veracity of the story is unknown.
There are an average of 44 rings in a standard mead spiral notebook.
- Source : "Useless Information" series volume 1
On Sesame Street, Snuffleupagus' first name is Aloysius.
- "The Muppets: Past & Present"
47% of US Southerns say they use the word "y'all"
- from a Headline News 'Factoid'
(source: University of North Carolina)
"When I was in High School, my chemistry teacher had the privilege of
scaring most of the freshman chem class. He had a wooden cutting block set
out on the bench at the front of the class, with a large butcher's knife.
After everyone took their seats, he produced an apple, two 200 mL beakers
containing clear fluid, an empty 500 mL beaker, and an eye dropper. He
proceeded to cut the apple in half, and then place the knife back in a
locked drawer (he didn't trust us!). With the dropper, he squirted some of
liquid A onto one half of the apple, and we all saw it eat away at the apple
rather quickly. Then, after rinsing the dropper, he squirted some of liquid
B onto the remaining half of the apple, which also ate it away. He then
poured liquid A and liquid B into the 500 mL beaker, and swirled the mixture
for a few moments (about twenty seconds). He then downed the whole thing in
one big swallow!
As it turned out, liquid A was hydrocloric acid, and liquid B was sodium
hydroxide. They were both of the same molarity, and so when mixed, they
produced salt water. The most interesting happening of this was the next
year, when a young lady passed out as the teacher swallowed his drink..."
(From Arden Meyer [meyerar@scooby.beloit.edu])
This showed up as a true real estate rental ad (1979):
2 bdrm. house: with fireplace, garage. work shop and large yard. $200 per
month. No children, no pets, no smokers, no drinkers, no drugs, no gays, and no
freethinkers; no Buddhists, no Baptists, no Moonies, no Junies, no Communists
sympathizers, roo deodorizers, nor tranquilizers; no creeps, no punks, no fools,
no losers, no onions and hold the mayo. In fact, never mind...I'm going to sell
the property and move to Denver or India or some place. (And no musicians.)
I go into a Burger King with a friend of mine and he says to me:
"Follow my lead and then order me a Cheeseburger and a coke."
"But first say a hamburger".
We go up to the counter and I order for myself. I then say,
"Frank what will you have?"
He says loudly:
HGJHSGDJHGSD ALKKJSKWI KLLKQOIiwe, (pure gibberish, very loudly)
I say to the attendant,
"Okay, he'll have a coke and a hamburger."
At which Frank grabs my arm and screams:
ZX
"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up" said the
sarcastic lecturer. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.
"Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the
lecturer with a sneer.
"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing
up there all by yourself."
"In one of the houses in which all the lacrosse and football
players live, they have a file of papers for classes so people don't have
to write them; they can just take a paper previously written and change the
name and hand it in. Well, there was one paper for a class which someone
had written and gotten a B on. But on the corner of the front page was a
little drawing of a whale. The next year, a "brother" took the class (we
don't have frats on campus; this is as close as we get) and when he had to
do the paper, he just photocopied the paper and got a B on it as well.
Then the next time the class was offered, another brother took the paper
and photocopied it, but whited out the whale so the prof wouldn't suspect
that it was the same paper, etc. Well, he got a C on it. When he asked
the prof why he got a C on it, when all the other people who copied the
paper got a B on it and it was the same paper, the prof said, 'I liked the
whale.'"
The great logician Bertrand Russell (or was it A.N. Whitehead?)
once claimed that he could prove anything if given that 1+1=1.
So one day, some smarty-pants asked him, "Ok. Prove that
you're the Pope."
He thought for a while and proclaimed, "I am one. The Pope is one.
Therefore, the Pope and I are one."
Just when you thought you'd heard it all...A Swedish researcher is claiming
that the womansuperstar MICHAEL JACKSON's married is not LISA MARIE PRESLEY.
HAAKAN BORGLUND of Uppsala University in Lund, Sweden, saysafter five years
of research that she's a double. He claims the real Lisa Marie Presley
disappeared out of fearof being kidnapped. Borglund adds, "She has not
appeared in public since 1978. Herdouble appears in photographs for the first
time in 1982, andfrom then on a regular basis." According to Danish
publication BT if Borglund is right, nopictures of the ELVIS PRESLEY's
daughter as an adolescent, or asa grown woman exist. And it would be
virtually impossible to determine what shereally looks like as it's during
puberty that a face changes themost. Borglund says he studied 38 different
photos of Lisa MariePresley, and has published his findings in a thesis titled
'Facial Analysis of Lisa Marie Presley'. BT reports his findings have been
corroborated by that LisaMarie Presley's step-grandmother, DEE PRESLEY. Last
year she publicly accused PRISCILLA PRESLEY of beinga hard and cold person
because she hadn't allowed her to see herdaughter Lisa Marie since 1978. He
is also supported by fellow Swedish researcher GREGERJONSSON from the
Technical College in Lund, and by owner of anElvis Presley museum in St.
Louis, Missouri, BILL BEANY. Beany says, "I know that Haakan is right. There
are otherpieces of information that we have known about in the US forquite
some time."
"Here lies Lester Moore.
Four slugs from a 44.
No Les.
No more."
- epitaph on a tombstone in Tombstone, AZ.
"Here lies an atheist.
All dressed up and no place to go."
- epitaph on a tombstone.
"Cheerio, see you soon!"
- epitaph on a tombstone.
Verified 'FALSE' stories from ALT.FOLKLORE.URBAN
Mikey (Life cereal) exploded from eating Pop Rocks with soda (You wish!)
Coloring your CD's rim with (special) marker will enhance sound quality.
Eelskin wallet demagnetizes bank cards (nope, but magnetic clasp might).
There are workmen who died building Hoover Dam and were entombed in it.
Scientists once concluded that bumblebees couldn't fly.
Someone never gets tickets because his license plates say "NONE"
Couple w/baby on long trip stops to switch places; place baby on roof; they
forget it up there! Police cruiser pull them over and baby is rescued.
The Great Wall of China can be seen with the naked eye from the moon.
Airlines use a gas to keep passengers mildly sedated and less troublesome.
Stop signs with a white border are optional. (Oh, I don't think so...)
Birds won't sit on their nests if you touch one of their eggs.
In Nigeria, roving gangs of thieves may surreptitiously steal mens' dorks.
Guinea pigs' eyes fall out if you hold them up by their tails.
Baghdad Betty' told US army that Bart Simpson was sleeping with their wives
Singer John Denver served as a sniper in Vietnam (poss. his dad was).
College roommate commits suicide, gets you an automatic "A" for courses.
In the "Wizard of Oz" film you can see a body of someone who hung himself.
Someone is crushed to death trying to shrink blue jeans by wearing in tub.
Two guys see kid fishing; kid says fish aren't biting but worms are;
on way back; they discover kid slumped over;
worms were baby water moccasins!
First 7 numbers on bar code of "Thriller" album is Michael Jackson's phone.
The words to "Louie, Louie" are dirty
Sticking one of those "Postage Paid" reply cards on a heavy object (e.g.,
a brick) will cost the addressee the postage. [Nope, USPS tosses it.]
The song "Puff the Magic Dragon" is about smoking pot or Vietnam war weapon.
An undercover cop must answer yes to "Are you a cop?" to avoid entrapment.
Soupy Sales was canned for telling kids to send him pieces of paper with
pictures of dead presidents from their parents' dresser drawers on his show.
Tasmanian devils are extinct.
Catherine the Great died while trying to have something to do with a horse.
Mr. Ed was descended from that horse.
The US has 70% of world's lawyers.
Marco Polo brought pasta back to Italy from the Chinese.
Woman found a rat in Mexico and brought it home thinking it was a dog.
Verified 'TRUE' stories from ALT.FOLKLORE.URBAN
T.*Indiana House Bill #246 of 1897 would've set pi=3.2. Killed in state Senate.
3M "post-it" notes were invented & marketed as an unofficial project
Deckard was a replicant. Damn!
A newspaper once substituted "In the African-American" for "in the black."
There are male (and female) models in the Victoria's Secret catalogue.
Pilot can discreetly signal a hijack by setting the transponder to "7500"
Many manmade structures can be seen with the naked eye from Earth orbit.
People (mostly guys) have been electrocuted pissing on a subway's 3rd rail.
Apple use a Cray to design hardware systems; Cray used Apples...
Prodigy(tm) software grabs large sectors of the disk, containing data from
deleted files.
Bill Gates has $750K Porsche 959 he can't use[no type compliance -> no license!]
There really were chocolate "iced" Twinkies.
Lotsa university buildings constructed in the 1960s look like prisons.
[e.g. LFC S. Campus]
Some people sneeze when exposed to bright light ("photic sneeze effect").
Studies indicate that the majority of US currency has traces of cocaine.
Fin-de-siecle Frenchman,Petomane,got rich farting as music hall act.Fartist.
The etymology of the 4-letter word "fuck" is an acronym of old. [e.g.
"Fornication Under Consent of the King.]
There's all sorts of rumors about the AIDS virus being developed by
various institutions.
The stories have generally been dull and boring.
Sewer rats can come into the house and bite one's behind while on the potty.
Coca-cola is acidic. Whoop-dee-doo.
Chickens are easily mesmerized. Whoopee.
A Baltimore lawyer was busted for microwaving a kitten in January 1992.
Radioactive cat litter found in May 1991 in Berkeley, Calif
Days-old body in home discovered headless. Was eaten by dog!
Scotland Yard has found no evidence of snuff films in the last 20 years.
There is a "secret" "Club 33" serving hard liquor, in New Orleans Square,
Disneyland.
The CIA, NSA and 11 different secret govt organizations tap & bug everything
Soupy Sales was suspended for a week for telling kids to send him pieces of paper....
Many CIA (and other gov't) snackbars are staffed by blind people.
Oregon Highway Div blows up eight ton dead whale, showers area with blubber.
NSA leaned on NIST to propose less secure digital signature standard than RSA.
Woman removes label from "tuna" can, finds cat food label underneath. [The
cat food actually was tuna canned 6 years earlier in Canada, declared
unfit for human consumption, allowed to be exported as pet food, then
illegally relabeled as tuna again. ]
The USA did have a 49 star flag.
Channel 1 for TV existed in the US, but was eliminated by the FCC in 1945.
Montana has a token $5 fine for exceeding Federal 55mph limit.
"Baywatch" proves that apes share at least 95% of DNA with humans.
Gerbils are illegal in California.[CA Reg. Title 14, Sec. 671 (c)(2)(J) 1].
A 2 yr-old girl was killed by a power window in a Fiat in the UK in May 1992
Woman sued drink co.; she was blinded by bottle cap after opening w/pliers.
New York car thief stole lab delivery of cadaver heads...
Back to the QQQ-Files.
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