The QQQ-Files
QQQ Archives » Extras » Spam

From the Q Files, a subsidiary of Evil Mad Scientist Laboratories


Scene: A small corner office. Seated at a desk is the President of Apex Global Information Services, Inc. , Phillip Lawlor. A door opens and a fat, smelly beast of a man enters. Wallace: Morning Lawlor: Morning Wallace: I'm looking for Internet Connectivity. What ya got? Lawlor: Well, we've got PPP dialups and Web hosting, POP3 servers, PPP dailups and Web hosting, Web page hostings, POP3 servers and Spam, Spam, PPP dailups, POP3 Servers and Spam, Spam, POP3 severs, Spam Spam PPP dialups and Spam, Spam Listserve hosting Spam Spam Spam PPP dialups Spam ISDN modems and Spam, Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam T-1's Spam Spam and Spam N.A.N.A Chorus: SPAM SPAM! SPAMMITY SPAM! SPAMMITY SPAM! Lawlor: Or a T-3 directly fed into a Cray Supercomputer with multiple 50" Super VGA monitors, 30 Terrabyte hard drives, the latest bug fix for Windows '95 and Spam ( A customer has wandered in during this litany, looking for Internet access) Customer: Have you got anything without Spam? Lawlor: Well, the Spam PPP POP3 and Spam, thats not got much Spam in it. Customer: I don't want ANY Spam Wallace: Why can't she have have Web Page hosting, POP3 servers, Spam, and PPP dialups? Customer: THATS got Spam in it! Wallace: Hasn't got as much spam in as Spam PPP POP3 and Spam, has it? Customer: Will you do me Web Page hosting, POP3 servers, Spam, and PPP dialups without the Spam then? Lawlor: Ewww! Customer: What do you mean, Ewww? I don't like Spam! N.A.N.A. Chorus: SPAM SPAM, HIDEOUS SPAM! SPAMMITY SPAM, REVOLTING SPAM! Lawlor: Shut up! Bloody "computer geeks". You can't have Internet Access without the Spam! Customer: I DON'T LIKE SPAM! Wallace: Shh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll sell you an E-Filter for $50. I love Spam - I'm getting Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam T-1's Spam Spam and Spam N.A.N.A Chorus: SPAM SPAM, HIDEOUS SPAM! SPAMMITY SPAM, REVOLTING SPAM! Lawlor: Shut up! Shut up! T-1's are off. Wallace: Well, can I have Spam instead? Lawlor: You mean Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam and Spam ?! N.A.N.A Chorus: SPAM SPAM, HIDEOUS SPAM! SPAMMITY SPAM, REVOLTING SPAM! SPAA SPAAA SPAAAA SPAAAAA HIDEOUS SPAM! REVOLTING SPAM! SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAAAAAM!


Escape this section of the QQQ Files.


See other cool stuff at

Evil Mad Scientist Laboratories