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3 gentlemen on a fishing expedition - a biologist, a pastor, and a computer salesman. Well, just like Gilligan's Island, a mighty storm arose from nowhere and tossed the tiny ship about, finally carrying it to its resting place atop a coral reef about 1/2 mile offshore of an uncharted desert isle. Anyway, the 3 men awoke from unconsciousness on the whitewashed sands of the beach. Realizing they had to get the emergency gear from the wrecked boat if they were to survive, they were faced with a serious problem. In between the beach and the reef, dozens, no, hundreds of dorsal fins could be seen knifing through the otherwise placid waters. Who would swim to the boat? "I probably shouldn't go." said the biologist. "I'm the only one here with anything resembling medical knowledge - if someone is attacked, I'll likely be the only one who could save him." "Well, I shouldn't go either." said the pastor. "I feel I would be much better off here on shore, praying for the safe delivery of whomever does go." The computer salesman said "No problem. I'll go." And with that, he stripped to his jockeys and plunged into the crystal-blue sea. As he swam to the boat, the sharks never approached him - in fact it appear they created a marine boulevard just for the swimmer. The salesman reached the reef and the wreck, and shortly returned from below decks with a great deal of emergency gear which he proceeded to load into the self-inflating raft he had already erected. He climbed in and began to paddle the craft back to shore. Unfortunately, a rising breeze and the outgoing tide conspired against him, and despite his best efforts, it appeared he would be washed out to sea. The pastor sunk to his knees and began to pray for all he was worth. The biologist, however, could do nothing. He resigned himself to his fate. Suddenly, he looked up and realized the raft was again coming closer! Could his mind be playing tricks on him? He checked again. Yes, indeed, it was coming closer still. Soon the men could see that a large number of sharks had fallen in behind the raft, and were actually pushing it in toward shore. Once beached and the salesman safely unloaded, the three began an excited discussion in an attempt to explain this unusual and highly fortunate phenomenon. The pastor said "I now have the proof I have been seeking all my life! There is a God! My prayers were answered!" The biologist scoffed and replied "I can't buy into your theory, but I am willing to bet there is a scientific explanation to all of this." The salesman replied "No big deal, actually. Just professional courtesy."
High Tech Computer Sales Jargon NEW - Different color from previous design ALL NEW - Parts not interchangable with previous design EXCLUSIVE - Imported product UNMATCHED - Almost as good as the competition DESIGNED SIMPLICITY - Manufacturer's cost cut to the bone FOOLPROOF OPERATION - No provision for adjustments ADVANCED DESIGN - The advertising agency doesn't understand it IT'S HERE AT LAST! - Rush job; Nobody knew it was coming FIELD-TESTED - Manufacturer lacks test equipment HIGH ACCURACY - Unit on which all parts fit DIRECT SALES ONLY - Factory had big argument with distributor YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - We finally got one that works REVOLUTIONARY - It's different from our competitiors BREAKTHROUGH - We finally figured out a way to sell it FUTURISTIC - No other reason why it looks the way it does DISTINCTIVE - A different shape and color than the others MAINTENANCE-FREE - Impossible to fix RE-DESIGNED - Previous faults corrected, we hope... HAND-CRAFTED - Assembly machines operated without gloves on PERFORMANCE PROVEN - Will operate through the warranty period MEETS ALL STANDARDS - Ours, not yours ALL SOLID-STATE - Heavy as Hell! BROADCAST QUALITY - Gives a picture and produces noise HIGH RELIABILITY - We made it work long enough to ship it SMPTE BUS COMPATABILE - When completed, will be shipped by Greyhound NEW GENERATION - Old design failed, mabey this one will work MIL-SPEC COMPONENTS - We got a good deal at a government auction CUSTOMER SERVICE ACROSS THE COUNTRY - You can return it from most airports UNPRECEDENTED PERFORMANCE - Nothing we ever had before worked THIS way BUILT TO PRECISION TOLERANCES - We finally got it to fit together SATISFACTION GUARANTEED - Manufacturer's, upon cashing your check MICROPROCESSOR CONTROLLED - Does things we can't explain LATEST AREOSPACE TECHNOLOGY - One of our techs was laid off by Boeing
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