QQQ Archives » Extras » Dumb Riddles From the Q Files, a subsidiary of Evil Mad Scientist Laboratories

Q) Why were the little strawberries upset?
A) Because their parents were in a jam!



Q) Why did the idiot buy a farm in Alaska?
A) He wanted to grow frozen vegetables.



Q) What's a vampires' favorite place?
A) The Vampire State Building.



Q) What is a miner's main meal?
A) Coal slaw.



Q) Where do you find a turtle with no legs
A) Exactly Where you left it!! Duh.



Q) How should a jogger clean up after a hard workout?
A) With running water.



Q) Do animals carry money?
A) Yes, ducks have bills, skunks have scents, and frogs have greenbacks.



Q) What can a Stegosaurus have that no other dinosaur has?
A) A baby Stegosaur.



 Q: What's blue and yellow?
A. Green.  

[hit yourself on the head if you didn't see that coming]


Q:      Why do fish swim in salt water?
A:      because pepper makes them sneeze!



Q: What's green and has wheels?
A: Grass.  I lied about the wheels.



Q:      How do you shoot an elephant?
A:      With an elephant gun!

Q:      How do you shoot a blue elephant?
A:      With a blue elephant gun!!

Q:      How do you shoot a pink elephant?
A:      You twist his trunk till he turns blue,
        and shoot him with a blue elephant gun!!!



Q:      What does a Mechanical Frog say?
A:      robbot, robbot!

Q:      What does a long-eared frog say?
A:      Rabbit.

Q:      What does a construction worker frog say?
A:      Rivet!

Q:      What does a genie frog say?
A:      Rub it. Rub it. Rub it.

Q:      What does a politician frog say?
A:      Rob it.



Q:      What's green and stands in a corner?
A:      A naughty frog!

           -- Animaniacs



Q:      Which kind of fruit does a vampire like best?
A:      NECK-tarines!



Question: What is brown and sticky?
Answer: A Stick!



 Question: What's big and green and will kill you if it
                         falls out of a tree?
 Answer:   A pool table!!!



Question: What's red and barks like a dog?
Answer: A confused apple.



Q. Why are fish so easy to weigh?
A. They come with their own scales.



Question: Why do penguins wash their clothes in tide?
Answer: It's too cold out tide.



Q:How do you catch a unique rabbit?
A:Unique up on it!

Q:How do you catch a tame rabbit?
A:Tame way, unique up on it!


Did you hear the joke about the plane?

Nevermind, it's over your head.



Q: Where do bees go to the bathroom?
A: At a BP station.


Q: Why did the dog go to court?
A: He got a barking ticket!



Question: Why do bees have sticky hair?
Answer: Because they use honey combs!!!



Q: Why did the turtle cross the road?
A: To get to the Shell station!



Q:      Why didn't the skelton cross the road?
A:      Because he didn't have the guts.


(Not really a riddle.)

A snail was jumped by a bunch of turtles and beaten up.
The police came to take down the details.
They asked the snail to tell them what he had seen, and the snail said
"I don't know, it all happened so fast"