QQQ Archives » Extras » A Word About Geeks From the Q Files, a subsidiary of Evil Mad Scientist Laboratories

[Q&A Re: Bill Gates.]


>"Why is Bill Gates such a Geek?"
>               - Clueless.


To start off let's define a word "geek".  Webster Dictionary of English
language on-line defines geek as:

:geek: \'ge-k\ n [prob. fr. E dial. geek, geck fool, fr LG geck, fr MLG] :
a carnival performer often billed as wild man who's act usually includes
biting the head off live chicken or snake.

I never heard of Bill Gates biting heads off chickens, not even mentioning
snakes,  even though he did perform on some of the carnivals, the latest
one being the Comdex.  He does not really qualify as a complete geek,
as you can see.

"Computer geek" maybe?  Let's see...

"The on-line hacker Jargon file version 4.0.0 24 JUL 1996" defines:
:computer geek: /n./  1. One who eats (computer) bugs for a
   living.  One who fulfills all the dreariest negative stereotypes
   about hackers: an asocial, malodorous, pasty-faced monomaniac with
   all the personality of a cheese grater.  Cannot be used by
   outsiders without implied insult to all hackers; compare
   black-on-black vs. white-on-black usage of `nigger'.  A computer
   geek may be either a fundamentally clueless individual or a
   proto-hacker in {larval stage}.  Also called `turbo nerd',
   `turbo geek'.  See also {propeller head}, {clustergeeking},
   {geek out}, {wannabee}, {terminal junkie}, {spod},
   {weenie}.  2. Some self-described computer geeks use this term
   in a positive sense and protest sense 1 (this seems to have
   been a post-1990 development).  For one such argument, see
   http://samsara.circus.com/~omni/geek.html.
   {bletcherous}, {losing}, q.v., but the connotation is much
   milder.


Mr. Gates stoped coding, and mostly governs the taking
over of the world by Microsoft.  Therefore Bill Gates is NOT a geek.  He
is a wannabe geek.  Here are helpful signs that you can use to determine
the difference between real geeks and wannabe geeks:

 Wannabe Geeks                       Real Geeks
 -------------                       ----------
 Buy computers from mail-order       Create their own using the chips
  shops and upgrade them by hand      they make in their basement

 Complain about the bugs in the      When told about bugs, they respond:
  sure-to-be-a-hit super cool game    ``You mean some people don't write
  that they're creating               perfect code the first time???''

 Learn to type really fast so that   Create devices that hook into their
  they can write more code faster     brains and allowing them to input
                                      code as fast as they think

 Work really hard and finish the     Have their artificial intelligence
  weekend assignment in a day         program write it for them so they
                                      can code more interesting things

 Use an optimizing compiler to get   Optimize their code by hand...
  that extra speed                    ...and do a better job

 As you can see, Bill Gates is not a geek.  He was formerly a wannabe
 geek, but has never approached the nirvana that being a geek truly is.
 Hopefully, with this helpful guide to lead you, you won't make such a
 horrible mistake again, Dear Clueless.