QQQ Archives » Extras » Island Joke From the Q Files, a subsidiary of Evil Mad Scientist Laboratories

A man decided to go on vacation on a cruise ship in the Caribbean.
It was wonderful, the experience of his life.  He was being
waited on hand and foot.  But it did not last.  A hurricane came up
unexpectedly.  The ship went down almost instantly.

The man found himself, he knew not how, swept up on the shore of an island.
There was nothing else anywhere to be seen.  No person, no supplies, nothing.

The man looked around.  There were some bananas and coconuts, but that
was it. He was desperate, and forlorn, but decided to make the best of it.
So for the next four months he ate bananas, drank coconut juice and mostly
looked to the sea mightily for a ship to come to his rescue.

One day, as he was lying on the beach stroking his beard and looking
for a ship, he spotted movement out of the corner of his eye.  Could it be
true, was it a ship?  No, from around the corner of the island came this
rowboat. In it was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen, or at least
seen in four months. She was tall, tanned, and her blond hair flowing in
the sea
breeze gave her an almost ethereal quality.  She spotted him also as he was
waving and yelling and screaming to get her attention.  She rowed her boat
towards him.

In disbelief, he asked, "Where did you come from?  How did you get here?"

She said, "I rowed from the other side of the island.  I landed on this
island when my cruise ship sank."

"Amazing," he said, "I didn't know anyone else had survived.  How many
of you are there?  Where did you get the rowboat?  You must have been really
lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you!"

"It is only me," she said, "and the rowboat didn't wash up; nothing
else did."

"Well, then," said the man, "how did you get the rowboat?"

"I made the rowboat out of raw material that I found on the island," replied
the woman.  "The oars were whittled from Gum tree branches,  I wove the
bottom from Palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a
Eucalyptus tree."

"But, but," asked the man, "what about tools and hardware, how did you
do that?"

"Oh, no problem," replied the woman.  "On the south side of the island
there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed.  I found that if I
fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile
iron. I used that for tools, and used the tools to make the hardware.  But,
enough of that," she said. "Where do you live?"

At last the man was forced to confess that he had been sleeping on the beach.

"Well, let's row over to my place," she said.   So they both got into the
rowboat and left for her side of island.

The woman easily rowed them around to a wharf that led to the approach
to her place.  She tied up the rowboat with a beautifully-woven hemp rope.
They walked up a stone walk and around a palm tree, and there stood an
exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.

"It's not much," she said, "but I call it home.  Sit down, please. Would you
like to have a drink?"

"No," said the man, "one more coconut juice and I will puke."

"It won't be coconut juice," the woman replied.  "I have a still.  How
about a Pina Colada?"

Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepted, and they sat
down on her couch to talk.

After a while, having exchanged their stories, the woman asked, "Tell
me, have you always had a beard?"

"No," the man replied, "I was clean shaven all of my life, and even on
the cruise ship."

"Well, if you would like to shave, there is a man's razor upstairs in
the cabinet in the bathroom."

So the man, no longer questioning anything, went upstairs to the
bathroom. There in the cabinet was a razor made from a bone handle,
two shells honed to a hollow ground edge were fastened on to its end
inside of a swivel mechanism. The man shaved, showered and went back
downstairs.

"You look great," said the woman.  "I think I will go up and slip into
something  more comfortable."  So she did.

And the man continued to sip his Pina Colada.  After a short  time,
the woman returned wearing fig leafs strategically positioned and
smelling faintly of gardenia.

"Tell me," she asked, "we have both been out here for a very long time
with no companionship.  You know what I mean.  Have you been lonely;
is there anything that you really miss?  Something that all men and
women need. Something that it would be really nice to have right now."

"Yes, there is," the man replied, as he moved closer to the woman
while fixing a winsome gaze upon her,  "Tell me ... Do you happen to
have an Internet connection?"