QQQ Archives » Extras » Carnac The Magnificent. From the Q Files, a subsidiary of Evil Mad Scientist Laboratories

	(More of Carnac The Magnificent. For the uninitiated, Carnac finds
the answer to a secret question, which is revealed to him after the guess.)


Answer: Gatorade.
Question: What does an alligator get on welfare?

A: 9V.
Q: "Dr. Wiener, do you spell your name with a W?"

A: OJ, Dr. Ruth, Bill Gates
Q: Name me a drink, a shrink, and a fink.

A: Bonzo, Goodyear, and Bush
Q: Name a chimp, a blimp, and a wimp.

A: Piggly Wiggly
Q: Describe Kermit's wedding night.

A: 1941, 2001, 2010
Q: Name two movies and the next time you'll see Jim Baaker.

A: Mount Baldi
Q: What did Yul Brenner's wife do on their wedding night?

A: Bible belt.
Q: What holds up Oral Roberts' pants?

A: Milk and honey.
Q: What do you get from a bee that has an udder?

A: Black and white and twenty feet tall.
Q: Describe Sister Mary Kong.

A: An unmarried woman.
Q: What was Elizabeth Taylor between 3 and 5 pm on June 1, 1952?

A: The Laughing Policeman.
Q: What do you call a cop who frisks himself?

A: Dustin Hoffman.
Q: Describe someone cleaning his Hoffman.

A: Until he gets caught.
Q: How long does a United States Congressman serve?

A: Shareholder.
Q: What did Sonny Bono used to be?

A: Skalliwags.
Q: What does your skalli do when it's happy?

A: David Frost.
Q: On a cold morning what forms on your david?

A: Head and shoulders.
Q: What do you see if you open the trunk of the Godfather's car?

A: Hickory Dickory Dock.
Q: Who do you go to when you have a pain in your hickory dickory?

A: "Rose Bowl."
Q: What do you say when it's Rose's turn at the bowling alley?

A: That darn cat.
Q: Who ruined that darn rug?

A: Gunga din.
Q: What do you hear when you put an amplifier in your gunga?

A: "Follow the yellow brick road."
Q: What are good directions to a urologist's office?

A: At both ends.
Q: Where do New Yorkers put their dogs muzzles?

A: Igloo.
Q: What do you use to keep your ig from falling off?

A: R-O-L-A-I-D-S.
Q: How does a stupid person spell "backgammon"?

A: Grape Nuts.
Q: What are Ernest and Julio Gallo?

A: Shake-N-Bake.
Q: Describe a double feature with Earthquake and The Towering Inferno.

A: Flypaper.
Q: What do you use to gift wrap a zipper?

A: Supervisor.
Q: What does Clark Kent wear to keep the sun out of his eyes?